![]() The same thing happened to me, only worse. ![]() I've been punished, so it's okay to talk about it all. I carried the guilt of my crimes around with me for years after I stopped drinking. I couldn't even look at a girl, much less believe I deserved to converse with one. Or maybe I was just afraid that they'd see through me. Either way, after getting into Alcoholics Anonymous, I didn't even kiss a girl for five years. I think I always knew deep down I had a drinking problem. ![]() But then, as far as I was concerned, wasn't everyone doing the same thing? I started to realize something was wrong when I began to get beaten up. My mouth always got me into trouble, of course. I'd go up to the biggest guy in the place and look up his nostrils and call him a faggot. And then when he'd head-butt me, I'd say, "Call that a headbutt?" So the guy would do it again harder. One of my "victims" stuck my head on an electric cooker ring. I was lucky to get out of that house alive. He'd done it, though, because I'd been taking the pith out of hiths listhp. They'd just stare at me in disbelief and shock.Īll the pretense and rules dissolved away. There was just the two of us and the pain. All those intimate moments, every little sigh, those gentle touches, the lovemaking, the confidences, the orgasms, the attempted orgasms-all mere fuel. The deeper in they were, the more beautiful they looked when the moment came.Īnd I lived for the moment. I was working freelance in advertising all through this period in London. A contradiction in terms if ever there was one. Even in art school, I got a grant because my dad had just retired and I suddenly became eligible. And after that I got job after job without too much trouble. ![]() I never looked like a drunk, I just was one, and anyway in those days advertising was a far more boozy affair than it is today. Because I was freelance, I could be my own man, so to speak, and I would keep myself busy by ensuring I had dates lined up. None of the girls were supposed to know this. The idea was to have an impressive queue so that when one girl neared maturity-usually after about three or four dates with some phone calls in between-another would be introduced. The diary of an oxygen thief series serial#. ![]()
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